How to Confront: Soft vs. Harsh
I stumbled across this picture contrasting a harsh start-up and a soft start-up in a confrontational conversation. Dr. Gottman explains in his book, "The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work", that he can tell whether a conversation is going end well or not by the first three minutes. Conversations generally end the way they begin. If you'd like your conversations to end positively, soften your approach.
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